Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
