ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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