i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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