I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
