Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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