Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
