you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize