so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
