Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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