what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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