And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
be right there i have to get my cape
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
