Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
