some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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