I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
