I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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