in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
