What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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