i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dick very happy bro
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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