cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
