Just mADE A PArabola og urine
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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