David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They took my balls.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
