Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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