Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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