Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
