Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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