if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
