So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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