so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
