you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
