You work out of a Hotel?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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