it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
