You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
