Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
