im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
