Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
