I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
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