Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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