I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
