so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
