She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She bit a glass in half.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Mom said you looked used
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
