I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
