I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
