Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
