I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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