the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
