were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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