im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
