He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
