I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
