8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
