You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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