Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
