rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
