I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
