there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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