I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
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