so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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