whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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