hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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