I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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