Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
