dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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