That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
