just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
