yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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