I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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