Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
